Sex, I remember when I was with another Indian teacher, as great as the one I'm with now, Hindu-Indian in that case, and I asked Baba, I says, what, how do I get free of this annoying feeling for sex, etc., and the issue with women. I just want to be a saint, I want to be a sadhu, and I'll be a swami, and how do I get rid of this issue of women? and Bob just hit me with some feathers and said, See them as men. And that worked for a while, and that took care of that. And then after that while was gone, back to Bob again. Bob, how do I get rid of this thing about desire for women and etc.? He said, Look at their feet. So now we're back to the respect and to the love and to the compassion for the Divine Mother. Because somehow every time, whenever we look at Mother, there's no sexual desire no matter how beautiful or sexy Mother might, would have, could have, had been. Mother is different. So just before I left down there and I'm in the office taking care of some business and I look on the wall and there's this picture of one of the pictures of Divine Mother and the quote on that calendar she says the purpose of life is to emerge in the divinity of your inner self and when you do that there's nothing there but love and when you do it completely you lose all consciousness of the physical body.

And there's nothing left but love. So my question after all this blabbing, Little Crow, is what is your experience? How do you describe, are you more loving? What is this, you described the six des. Could you elaborate on what that means, what that is? For me, as Little Crow, Te O Tudah, it's a process of compassion, a process of experiencing the things that I did and have and continue to experience. Am I more loving? More or less. It's hard for me. It's like good or bad, plus or minus. No, I'm just more accountable for the love that I feel. When I say to people on Sundays or whenever, I love you.

I don't even know you, but I love you. I don't care where you've been or what you've done or where you're going or what you do. That's not my place. My place is to have someone say to them that they love them without knowing a thing about them, and not wanting anything from them. So for me, it has been my accountability towards, about loving, whether it's more or less. I believe the result of all of our experiences are to eventually reach place of compassion. That if we believe God or the Creator, whatever source we confirm, to be compassionate, we seem to have that need for it, to be forgiving, because we ask for forgiveness in deathbed ritual and last minute and soul-saving ritual and things are all about forgiveness. It's all about being forgiven. And what I got from this and what helped me also, what I felt and saw was I had to be able to forgive myself. And when I was able to do that, and being embodied with whatever I'm embodied with, it was the same. And so now what I do and when I do and how I do, it is done with more conscious effort, more accountability.

And hopefully it is not something that I would have to ask forgiveness for, that I would not have to ask apology for, that I would not have to preface by saying, first I want to apologize to anybody that I might offend. My effort is that, not to offend you, not to offend you. And that can be done, really. If you give me long enough up here, I can talk long enough that whoever is offended now will not be offended. You'll be asleep, but you won't be offended by the time I leave, you see. And it's just a matter of time, that given enough time, I can get your forgiveness. Yeah. Because you'll go to sleep and forget about everything. And then I'll get up and leave. So that's how it is. Compassion and I have more accountability for the love in the ways in which I express it. That's how it affects me. Thank you for the question.

You were the sixth death. The sixth death? Yes, there were six times that I died and came back and each one of them were kind of affiliated with different areas or questions that I had and things that were shown to me in six 24-hour periods. And basically they were things that dealt with sex, death, living, loving, accountability, disease, a lot about disease and how disease, how it works, how it operates and then some marginal peripheral things that I also talked about. More in depth about that when I make the tapes we can sit and talk about it at that. Anything else? This isn't a question, this is just a statement. I'd like to express the, I guess, appreciation that I have experienced having you being so simple as to talk of the importance of each breath.

And I'm in that realm of appreciation and understanding that that is a very special and direct gift that each of us shares. And with our consciousness of that experience, which is the only thing that actually does happen in the moment of now, is that gift of the inhale and then the return to that still, silent beginning with endless presence in which we dwell and overlook looking for it, that I think we find that confluence of that which has no beginning and us just in that simple act of the one breath in and the one breath out. And I feel that it is my goal and desire in this life to be as conscious of that in the moment as I can possibly be because of the joyous feeling that comes about.

And I have also just nothing to express but supreme divine gratitude for Commander, this gathering, the speakers, the participants here and everywhere in the universe as far as I can see. And that with the beginning of the 11th year that we begin doing divinely what has begun, has been done in the absence of that in all history that I can see on this earth. Thank you all. Thank you. Thank you for that. The way in which you stated it. That is all we have. And if I were to give you a dollar for every breath in the next 50 breaths, no one would be willing to sell your breath.

You see, if I can say, give me your next 50 breaths, I want to buy it. And you would say, no, get out of my face. But you see, when you exhale, I inhale, and so you give me life. And when I exhale, you inhale. And the plants work that way, and the earth works that way, and rocks work that way, and trees work that way, and leaves work that way, and insects work that way. When an ant exhales, we inhale. When a spider exhales, the Mother Earth breathes. And when the Mother Earth exhales, we... all the plants breathe, and on and on and on. It's connected, brothers and sisters.

We are connected. We are related. We are one and the same, only in a different form. There's an escapable. We're not different. We're just diverse. We're diverse. And each of us are right. Each of us are right. But we are also accountable. Accountable. And that seems to be the stickler sometimes, that we don't want that kind of accountability that comes with the knowledge that God dwells within us. And all it takes to do, to recognize it, is to act in that way. It's an awesome responsibility, but it's not held for the special or the few. It's there for all of you. It's there for everyone.

And you already have it. You already have it. It's already there. I'm new to this group, although I'm not new to the concept of contact with extraterrestrials. I was involved with a contact group in France in 1972, and I had many personal experiences. I was, I believe, very much in contact at age 27, misunderstood by my family and forcibly institutionalized. But I managed to get out in three weeks. But unfortunately, they still think I was psychotic. I haven't been back to the hospital since, 25 years ago.

I'm 52, almost 52 now. Anyway, it was on, just giving you a little bit of history. It was on my way to Mount Shasta in 1980 to spot UFOs that I stopped in a friend already knew the way up there and she said let's go and stop and see a lady named Josephine Taylor who was I guess a channel for the White Brotherhood. And she asked me if I knew who my spiritual master was, who my spiritual guide was. And I said, you know, I'm interested in avatars. I heard that the Sanskrit word avatar is translated or interpreted as from a star. From a star.

Although really in Hindu tradition it's more divine incarnation. Anyway, this Josephine Taylor said to me, oh, that's interesting. I just got a book about a Sri Sathya Sai Baba who claims to be an avatar. I just got it this week and I have to show it to you. I was really not that interested. This is back in 1980. I was on my way to spot UFOs at Mount Shasta. But she brought out this book by a man named Murfit, an Australian, with a picture of Sri Sathya Sai Baba on the cover, and it was entitled Avatar. It wasn't until seven years later that I actually consciously tried to connect with Sri Sathya Sai Baba, and subsequently I have made 13 trips to India to spend time with him, and I've studied with other teachers. Anyway, and while I was up at Mount Shasta I met Sister Phaedra who was channeling from Lord Sadhanada, Sonata, however you say it.

And she gave me a picture of Christ that had been taken at Lake Titicata and interestingly enough it's like identical to a picture of Christ or Lord Sadhanada that Sri Sastricide She said, Baba, I materialized in an interview for some English devotees. Actually, I didn't pull it out of my hair. They had an interview with him and when they returned to England, they found this picture of Christ. Christ may be identical to what Sister Sadra's picture was in Mount Shasta. On their film, you know, Baba knew that they were great devotees of Christ and he wanted to give them pleasure. Anyway, my question is not to have a whole litany here, just to tell you a little bit about myself.

My name is Helena Rowe, and I feel very privileged to be here. I felt that I've been, you know, I've tried to be of service to the extraterrestrial, the good extraterrestrial community in the past, and then I got kind of, not sidetracked, but then I decided to just give all that up in 1982 and study going down the path towards enlightenment. And now things are being reactivated. I have friends in the contact community. I met Jacques Vallée before, you know who he is, and many, many, many, many, many, many Colonel Stevens, many people. And I just left that in 1980 and it seems like things are really perking up again. And I was just wondering, my question is, isn't much talk of this avatar, who we could consider a divine incarnation, such as Sai Baba, within your group, or are you aware of him?

Thank you. Thank you. Well, yes I know Sai Baba, and the Sai Baba before, and the Sai Baba after, and the current Sai Baba. And let me introduce myself to you. The Mother Father God had four sons. I'm the oldest of the four. Jesus is my 196th. And this is the first one where I've ever considered doing anything for people. The other 195,000 were all seeking enlightenment. So I hope I answered your question. It's service to the people that my father sent me here to do this time, the other 195,000 was to let me kind of run the grist, to search and to look, to find what I already knew. Being my oldest son, why would you ask questions about what you're supposed to do? So that's what I believe.

The oldest of four boys. The oldest son. So here I am. I really thought that he was here just to torment me. Well, that was one of them. Yeah, that was one of the sidebars. I got a note one day in a tootsie roll and said, find this person, you know, torment her life. And as it was, they found me. And it worked from there on. And I'm not making light of what you've said. I'm just saying... It's my own personal experience. This is what's happening. It's in my own personal... It is. It is. It is indeed. It is yours. It is yours in its entirety.

And I can't comment on it. You will be the final reconnoiter of it and commenter to it. And you will do with it whatever it is you choose to do with it. And it's just one of the many. Right, I want to be a servant. I just feel like I want to be a service to God and everything, everything is... And God is all of these people here. God is everything. It's this table, it's you as a chair, where you have your feet, it's all part of God.

And to be of service is to breathe. Simply breathe, sister, and it will do the rest. The rest will come to you. Just breathe. Hallelujah. Thank you. Aho. Another question. David, brother, how are you? It's good to see you again, brother. Yes. I just have a comment to make. It's a rather simple one. I'm very appreciative ever since having met you of being reminded by you how simple things are and how we are all related and how we are all equal and how we are all of God and how we are all one. But if you aren't ever going to swear again, I'm going to think of you as more spiritual than I am.

I didn't say anything about never swearing again. I just said, here. I said, here, I was not going to do that. And I will adhere to that and hold to that as much as possible because I... You have slipped already. Yeah, you know, I really don't want to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that to honor my brother. Yes. Someone else? I don't want you to fall asleep here. Way in the back.

Do you see your book coming out any time soon? You have to speak to my publisher. She's here. Connie, where are you at? Stand up. I'd like to introduce you to Connie Clark. She's the publisher of all my written material and books, and the Red Book, which we brought some copies of, of course. And the bumper stickers were, whoever comes from the furthest away, take these bumper stickers home with you, for a price, of course, and get one out of your county if you put them on your car, because they just simply say, everything is sacred, you make a difference. That's been a great sticker. Yeah, Connie would be able to tell you more about that than I can. I don't know. She does all that kind of stuff.

I just talk. Then I'm surprised when it comes out. I go, did I say that? That's pretty good. That's pretty good. God, I ought to meet this guy. There's been a rumor around that handshakes have been reduced to $5.79 this week. No, it's $4.35. Handshakes on sale this week. There's someone else with a question. I hear it, but you're not asking it. Yes? I'm not asking because I'm not sure how to say it, O Christ. But it seems to me that everybody here has the intention of being of service, of connecting, of making a difference.

And sometimes I get the sense that just making a difference is doing it and realizing that God power within and just in fact, if we had this responsibility and fulfilled it, we would thereby derive more power by doing it. And I guess it's just getting started in the position of responsibility and accountability. And I guess the feeling I have sometimes is if you just said you're doing it and we're not going to worry about fear and consequences and we'll just plunge in there. And this is what I hear you saying. But could you elaborate on that? This seems to be a little trick or... You've got something missing. Let's see what's missing here. It becomes very individual and yet it becomes very collective. People often say to me, I don't know where you get the guts to say that.

Or I don't know how you get the strength to do that. And I go, it isn't about finding the guts or the strength, it's just doing it, just as you said. If I wait on you to do it, it may not get done to my satisfaction or in the time that I, constraint that I put on it. If I do it myself or start it myself and then you come along and you start to help and somebody... It's like your car breaks down and you start to push it and then somebody comes and we start pushing this car out of the way, it's the same process. It's to know, to get it done, get it done right, get it done first, but first know what you're getting done.

It's to realize to have a clear picture of what it is. See, the fortunate part for me is I look at this table and I saw, like when I was about three or four years old, I saw all of this stuff which, quote, was my life. And it's always been like looking at our town. You know, a little Christmas tree, Christmas stuff, you get Christmas village and you got all these little houses. Well, life has always kind of been that way for me. I lay it on the table, look at it, see it and then know where I have to be and what I have to do and just do it on faith. Then I lost the picture during the years of alcoholism and drug abuse. I lost the picture and I tried to get it back and I didn't get it back until after I'd been clean for five years and then the ability to see the tabletop came back again. And it's faith. It's just faith.

That finally came. On my eighth vision quest I went on, what came of that was I didn't have to do the other seven. The thing just came like right out of the sky, you know. And it was his voice that said, Okay, dummy, you didn't have to do the other seven. And I realized at that time there was nothing going to tell me how to do it. I was just going to have to do it. And in doing it I would learn, I would remember, and I would do it again. It's like when we encourage our children to build something, to do something, for the most part we'll give them ragtag stuff, you know, we don't give them the good stuff until they really got it down, then give them the good material. We start out giving them the good material.

Start out giving them the best that there is in which for them to do it. That way they're not negated in it, they don't feel bad, and they don't feel that they can mess it up. So they're going to do the very best they can. And it's like, that's how it is. You just have to sometimes operate on faith. Not sometimes, all the time. All the time. It has to be a thing of faith. And that's how I do. I start projects and my people around me go, Oh God, what is he doing this time? And I'm going, Believe me, it's going to work. Well, I don't know, but we'll see. Well, it usually does, doesn't it? Yeah, it works out. He's got some kind of second sight or something.

No, it's faith. I have faith. And that's what it takes. Community needs faith. It has to be based in faith. Not religiosity, not a religious concept, but faith. Faith is everything God is, is faith. Because you can't prove its existence. You can't prove. You can only symbolically gesture. You can draw pictures. You can create symbols. You can make things, you know.

But it's everything. It's all of that and more. And so you operate on faith. You just have the faith to do it. And if you're working with someone, you go to them and say, I have faith that I can do this. And you do it. And you do it as a collective community. You have faith. And every time you come together, emphasize your faith. You can make a sound, you can smile, you can do something that emphasizes your faith. It doesn't have to be a prayer, but everything is a prayer. Every breath is a prayer. Every prayer ever said still hangs in the atmosphere. And all we have to do to be a benefit of that is to breathe.

And we have breathed, and every prayer ever said in every language, every context, every content, every religious mode is there, and we breathe it in, and we benefit from it. Because it jingles that little bell in our collective consciousness, clings them little symbols, sends a wave of smoke up our nose, and we remember. It is on faith. You know the little mustard seed story? My middle brother thought that one out. He said, I'll have to faith a good mustard seed, Dad. And he said, that's cool.

Then shall figure out how we'll package it, and we'll have them either way. I missed out on the concession for the mustard seed. I wish I would have got that one. But he's always kind of favored the younger brother. One day in confidence, what he really said to me one day in confidence before this last incarnation was, you can go back as long as you don't cuss too much. Always, always the hang up, isn't there? Yes, indeed. Yeah, Brooklyn. Hello, Kroff. We're all connected. Yes, sir. Have you ever contemplated how we got disconnected?

By choice. Individually? By choice, yes, because that's a wonderment of our father and mother. We were created with free will, and with that free will concept, we forgot accountability. We sometimes are responsible, but most times we're not accountable. And when we separate ourselves from each other, we escape and we negate accountability. But we are connected, regardless of what I think, or how I say, or how I act. I can't separate myself from the mass murderer or from Mother Teresa. I may not agree with the politics of it, but I'm still related to Bill Clinton. I'm relative to Bill Clinton. I may not like the politics of it or Al Gore or Babbitt, but I don't have time. I've got 700 people down there who call me every day and off and on everybody goes through the phone system with me and it's dealing with their problems and their fears and their ups and downs and their questions and we have our own problems in our own family. My daughter was ill here and had to have an operation and that came unexpectedly, yet for her it was part of her scenario and her script and I got to be on the poop patrol again, change the diapers again for the grandchildren and they're both under two and all they do is eat and poop. Eat, poop and sleep and cry, you know. My back still is feeling, you know, it's getting tight again. I'm pumping up with my grandson. I'm lifting him up. But yeah, we are very much indeed connected and related. And it hurts us when we hate and separate ourselves because of hatred.

It's very difficult. It creates an acidity within us. And it burns inside. It burns inside us like a like a volcano. Back there. Weren't you at a time? This is a set up. This is a set up. OK. I'd like to ask in front of in front of our group of your friends here on behalf of the Contact newspaper, which is read by many of those who can't come here at this time, but who are at the same time a part of the larger family, there is a coming together of those of similar mind and similar spirit at this time. And as we come into 1997 and 1998, there will be more of a need for the sharing of your wisdom. And I would appreciate it, and in front of all these people who you would have to deny, I would appreciate a commitment from you, not a weekly commitment, but a regular commitment for some of your words of wisdom that can be shared with all of our contact readers. You got it.

And you all heard that, so I rest my case. In fact, in fact, in a very vain commitment with creator. And if he doesn't give me enough, he can. I'm trying to avoid as much of that as I can. In fact, I brought a couple of tapes up for the family to hear. And they're what they call my sermons. And they're not sermons, but they're from every Sunday. And I made a commitment to myself to send you our tape every week from the Sunday service that we do. And there might be excerpts from it that you might be able to use in the contact, and you do have, right, where'd Connie go? It's okay to give him permission to use those, right? Yeah, okay. You can use that.

And I will write something and send it up on occasion. I've been meaning to do that. I've been remiss. Thank you. I appreciate that. Something else. Anyone? One or two more? Again. Seems to me I've heard this song before. Da da da da da da da. Da da da da da da da. Where are we? I was on my way up here, but I had talked to someone up here last week, and Gordon Michael Scallion had said something about this being a particularly important weekend, whether it's date, August 17th, whatever.

I know his contact has a 10-year anniversary this weekend. Over this weekend was 50 years anniversary that the teacher I admire so much got his initiation into spirituality and by that hundreds of thousands became initiated. What is your feeling of what's happening this weekend and toward what ship or the children of light now, some of them being in power to where maybe we don't have to push crap anymore. And we can win. Oh, my gosh. You think it's going to get easier? Well, I don't authority. It's easier, brother, but I would just say this. Gordon Michael Sky and I have listened and watched some of his things and stuff. At the moment of your creation, whenever that was, you were everything that there is and was and will be and could be and should be and whatever.

The moment of your creation, individually, and all of us collectively. This is like a roller coaster. And we go up and we go down, go around. The only thing that changes is clothes and shape and modes of transportation and food and all that. Things shift constantly, every breath they change. I just shared that with you. Today, at this moment, it's all we have. This moment is significant. It's significant by what you've shared. It's significant by the questions you've asked. It's significant by the contribution you've made. That's important to us here because we're in your perusal, we're in your sight, we're in your auditory range and we heard you. You contributed and gave to us a significant thing. Now if it's on the size prophecy or some enormous shift, all I can say is the same thing my dad said to me one time, you know, do you get my drift?

I'm still trying to figure that one out. So I, Gordon Michael, God love him, and all the rest of them, Nostradamus and all the rest, you know. But I'm busy just trying to take it a breath at a time. I can't even begin to imagine it's the anniversary of a lot of things, a lot of people were born, and a lot of important events happened and everything, but I'm just trying to take it a breath at a time. I think I've learned that or remembered it or something, and that's the best I can do. And again, not to negate anything or the importance of how or what people believe or feel. But all you have is this breath, and somehow it simplifies itself. It will simplify itself because you have a capacity to want to breathe. But we put that into a secondary position because we begin to take it for granted. That breath comes from someplace else other than our own effort. And all we're here to do is to breathe, and the rest of it takes care of itself.

It's the conspiracy of breath. I call it the conspiracy of breath. That as you breathe, you take in this oxygen, goes in your blood, goes in your mind, you have all these psychedelic experiences like you're driving a car, flying in a plane, eating food, having sex, smoking cigarettes, you know. Then you exhale, and you go on breath to breath, life to life, ah, will it ever end? Nope. It won't ever end, was never meant to end. And so there you are, you know, simplicity personified. How about liberation? You can only liberate yourself. I can't liberate you. I can tell you I set you free, but it doesn't mean any different, you know, because I'm having, I mean, you give me empowerment to set you free, and I can't do that. You have to empower yourself. I used to eat because it's the only thing I could do that had power to it.

It was the only thing that I controlled. I used to eat and weigh 288 pounds. I used to drink because it was the only thing I could do to express power. It was the only empowerment I had visually, physically. Do drugs, abuse people. It was power. It was the only thing I had. So I set myself free from it. I got rid of the problem and I created others, but I got rid of those problems. And I'm just doing the best I can. Free myself up, realizing the consequence of it is being accountable to it. Being accountable to it. And going from there. I don't mean to take all your time here. I get a feeling I'm boring you. Oh, thank you very much. That was a little manipulative thing that I thought. To get the result. Oh, no. Yeah, I got to do that every now and I need that. Like sugar to my system. Is there anything like ice around? Could I get just a little more ice in this cup? Thank you. Some question of real substance. Way, way in the back.

Black community. How do you get people to the black community? That's right. Make it a racial question. That's something that I hear a lot of my friends and I would like to hear your thoughts. If you could tell me again what it is you hear a lot because I don't want to make a comment on what I think I heard. I would like to hear you could just just use the mic there. Well, that black people and the aboriginal Indians, original Americans, they are more, they have a lot of an ethnic base to them. And as an example, using brother and sister, and there's a lot of comments about how the that seems to be more ingrained in their daily lives as opposed to other people's, not saying that other people aren't as spiritual, it just seems that blacks and Indians and other aboriginals seem to express it more.

And I was wondering what your thoughts are. Okay, I get the question. I don't say I understand it, I just get it. We live in a very exciting culture, civilization. It's a divisive civilization. It's one that fractionalizes people and places and things and context. And some of the most racist people I've ever met are Indian people, my own people, back on my own reservations, very racist, very bigoted. More recently, one of our well-known tribal families, Lyman Red Cloud, said we shouldn't be praying for white people. The Pope doesn't pray for us, so why should we pray for white people? And we shouldn't let other people come up. There should be no black people sun dancing. This isn't their way. This isn't what they're about. I thought that was very narrow of Lyman. But that's Lyman's privilege, his right to say whatever he wants to as a human being, but he needs to be accountable for it. The affinity that we have with Aboriginal people, you use that term. Aboriginal me in context used to be those people from Australia, the Aboriginals. And as I got a little bit smarter and I used that in my own context, when I began to remember a little bit more, then I remembered we were all Aboriginal. All of us here, you're all from an Aboriginal tribal group, and at one time your tribal group was nature-centered.

What we share is oppression, and any group of people that are oppressed and come together can recognize that oppression, and there is an immediate affinity. Now to say that all Indians get along with black people and all black people get along with Indians, it would be a misnomer to say that, and you realize that. But when we are immersed in a situation such as we have here today and there's very few faces of color, we have a tendency to clone, to pull together, to connect and to relate. If you know my history, I grew up in the black community in Omaha, Nebraska. I grew up in what they call the black ghetto in Omaha. And so I have an affinity for blackness and black people, black culture.

I don't say I understand because I'm not an expert in it, but I lived within it and survived within it, day to day as a young man, as a young child. And so I have that affinity of black community. I know what community is from that perspective. I grew up in the near north side. Bob Gibson is my dearest friend. I caught him as a young man. We played ball together. He's my dearest friend. And yet I didn't always agree with a lot of things that Bob said, but we were looking at it from different perspectives. He was looking at it as a black man abused in major league sports, and I was looking at it as a Native American who was abused by the culture in other ways. So we had this affinity. Yes, community is very, very strong in the black culture because you had to have that community and that pool together.

And one of the saddest things that happened to the black community was the invention of the freeway. When the freeway was invented, it allowed the white community to circumvent the black community, therefore not go to the economic centers and businesses within the black community, but to go out to the malls and the supermarkets and the strip malls that were out and away from the black community. And so you had a deterioration of an economic base and a tax base, and so the stores went out of business and the community had signs of deterioration. Stores closed up because the supermalls offered and pretty soon we even had, you know, we were even going out ourselves to these places.

So the freeway, insidious device, not to increase our ability to transportate, but to cut off and to redline and to cut off into districts and areas and to shut down the flow of economics. So that people would still be dependent upon quote certain kinds of banks to go get their money to and pay more interest and pay more this or be denied altogether. So yeah I have an affinity with the oppression that has been experienced by the black people that were brought here against their will.